I have been remiss in keeping the Police Dynamics website updated largely due to the new private investigative business that I recently founded, Focal Point Investigations.  And I am going to renege again by once again deferring to my friend and colleague Lloyd Thomas for this latest post. His comments are always insightful, thought-provoking, and consistent with the character-based message of Police Dynamics. I hope you enjoy…

CREATE THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

In last week’s column, I wrote about the process of transforming your life. I received many responses that essentially complained that the column was too “complicated” or “too abstract.” So today, I write about some practical steps you can take to engage in that “transformational process” more easily. Here are some of the practical principles for creating the life of your dreams.

1. Consciously choose what you really want. Dream boldly and positively. With photographic clarity, imagine your life the way you want it to be. Trust your own ability to create the life you desire.

2. Always tell the truth. Directly and candidly speak and write only what you believe to be true. Be honest with yourself. Seek the truth about yourself, others and the world. Make certain that what you speak is borne out in how you act.

3. Focus on becoming a Lover in Life. (more…)

A friend and colleague of mine from Colorado, Dr. Lloyd Thomas, is a licensed psychologist, accomplished author, and life coach. He recently posted an article on Effective Family Leadership. The principles are so consistent with Police Dynamics and other principles of organizational leadership that I asked him for permission to include them on the Police Dynamics site, which he graciously granted. Since it is the day after Father’s Day, I thought it was particularly appropriate to post this new video today…

To subscribe to Dr. Thomas’ weekly leadership newsletter, go to: http://lists.webvalence.com/listmgr/subscribe?lists=practical_life_coaching

You can find his book, “Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice…and Your Life!” on Amazon.com.

Here is the complete text of Dr. Thomas’ article: 

EFFECTIVE FAMILY LEADERSHIP
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Whether you like it or not, when you become a parent you become the leader of your family.  Children learn by observation and imitation.  Parents are the “models” that children first observe and begin to imitate.  You need to engage in the behavior you want your children to imitate and learn.  As a parent, you become your children’s primary leader.  It is a powerful and often difficult responsibility.

Most of us never learned the skills of effective leadership.  In our culture, we have been regularly exposed to the notion that we should become “child-centered” or that “children should always come first.”  If we make children the leaders of our families, our family structure will disintegrate.  As parents, it is not our job to imitate our children.  It is not our job to behave like children.  It is not our job to be our children’s “best friend.”  It is not our job to adapt to their behavior…it is their job to adapt to ours.

As parents, we need to become fully responsible leaders…responsible first for our own health and well being.  Otherwise, we offer less than healthy leadership to our children.  Teaching our children leadership and self-responsibility is only accomplished by becoming the best example of leadership and self-responsibility ourselves.

Here are ten time-honored principles of effective leadership.  To become your children’s best leader, learn and practice these principles. 

1.  Your children are sometimes illogical, unreasonable, self-centered, disobedient, stubborn, and defiant.  Love them anyway. (more…)